Another Life
by Saga Svanhildr
Summary: How would the Blight have been different if Alistair had been accepted as Maric's son from the beginning?  Would it change the fate of Ferelden?  Will include multiple origins.  Told from Cousland pov.  Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1 Saying Goodbye

_And so it begins! Here is the second story I mentioned at the end of __**Finally**__. I've been trying to get ahead on the chapters before I post them but that has been more difficult than I thought. So I decided to post the first chapter to encourage myself to continue. _

_This story has been in the works for some time now. Unfortunately, I see that there is another story on here now that seems to have had similar inspiration. I promise this is going to go in a different direction though. I hope you don't think I stole the idea or anything. _

_Also, this is the first time I've attempted first-person perspective. If you see any issues feel free to let me know._

_Bioware owns all! Including my heart ;)_

* * *

I begged. I pleaded. I had even tried crying to get my way. "Please, Alistair! Are you certain I cannot go along?" I _hate_ crying.

"Yes, my love. Don't worry. I should be back before you know it. You won't even have time to miss me if Cailan is correct." That was a pretty big _if_.

"Fine... I guess. But you had better be careful, Ali." I wrapped my arms around his neck so I could cling to him, "I miss you already."

"I promise you, Charis, you couldn't get rid of me if you tried," Alistair kissed me goodbye one more time before removing my arms from around him and mounting the horse next to his brother, King Cailan.

Cailan and his wife, Queen Anora, had already said their goodbyes. They had no need of an emotional public display like the one we had just put on. I moved to join Anora, who was standing silently on the palace steps.

Alistair, Cailan, and Anora's father, Teryn Loghain, were riding at the head of the men marching off to Ostagar. To war. Darkspawn attacks had become more and more frequent and finally it was discovered that they were converging into a horde. It was only a matter of time before they started marching on Ferelden. They had decided to act before that happened, and Cailan insisted he and Alistair be a part of it; as their father had been so many years ago.

I, however, would be left at home. Like a good little wife.

How I envied Cauthrien, Cat as I had always called her, as she brought her horse in line behind the men. I was trained as a warrior just as she was! But she wasn't married to the Prince of Ferelden. No one looked upon her presence in battle as irresponsible and unbefitting of a _lady_. Pfft! The only good thing being a _lady_ ever brought me was Alistair. And he loves me for who I am; not my fancy dresses or title.

Loghain gave the signal for the men to leave and spurred his horse into motion. Alistair hung back and waved to me a final time before galloping off to catch up to his brother. I stood between Anora and the guards at the palace entrance and watched until the men were out of sight. Anora turned and started to make her way back inside.

"Charis, are you coming dear?"

"In a little while, Anora. Go on without me." She nodded and signaled the guards to follow as well, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

You're probably starting to wonder who I am and how I ended up here. No? I'll tell you anyway.

_Charis Cousland._ That's me. Well, technically it's Charis Theirin now. As _the only other daughter of the only other Teryn in Ferelden;_ a phrase I heard often when I was lamenting my fate, it was _my duty_ _to my country_ to one day wed the King's youngest son. There was a time when I resented that very much. So much in fact that I ran away from home when I was eight years old.

If you haven't noticed, I'm kind of stubborn.

I didn't get far before my father's guards found me. He decided then that maybe I should get to know the boy I would be sharing my life with.

He knew me well enough not to tell me that the royal family was coming for a visit. I probably would have attempted another escape.

To my surprise, Alistair Theirin was a quiet and charming young man who made me laugh more than I ever had before. Nothing like his immature older brother whom I had heard so many rumors about, even then. And every time our families got together for these arranged visits, he became even more kind and fun to be around. And attractive. Obviously, I fell head over heels in love with him, but I'm not going to lie; the fact that he was so incredibly _gorgeous_ made the situation a lot more bearable before our relationship had reached this level.

It had been five years since I moved to Denerim for good. Anora had come to live in the palace at a much earlier age, but my parents were not the type to give their only daughter up so easily. My father had been finishing the agreement with King Maric when he was tragically lost at sea.

Teryn Cousland, my father, and the newly crowned Cailan agreed that I should make the move immediately; mainly so that Alistair would have a friend and help to deal with the loss of his father. I arrived in time to serve as Anora's maid of honor in the royal wedding.

Whereas Cailan and Anora had spent all of their time together learning the ins and outs of the throne room, and never having a chance to really bond as a couple, Alistair was never expected to rule, and we had all of the free time we wanted to get to know each other.

When we were confined to the palace we sparred against each other as often as possible. Both of us were trained as warriors; he with sword and shield and I with sword and dagger, and it was good to have someone on a similar level to train with. We spent the majority of our time though exploring the city, getting to know the people, and helping our elven friends in the Alienage.

It was on one of these return trips from the Alienage that our relationship blossomed from friendship into something more.

Flashback time.

_We were walking in companionable silence through one of the alleys when we came upon a group of four armed men. At first they seemed not to notice us; we thought we would make it past unscathed. Then the men stopped talking amongst themselves and turned to face us._

_"What have we here, boys? You two look a little young to be handling such big, expensive weapons. Why don't we take those off your hands?" The apparent leader and his friends laughed amongst themselves as if it were some great joke._

_"No thank you, sir. We were just passing through and we'll be on our way now," I calmly responded with all of the diplomatic training I had been forced to sit through._

_"You let your _girl _speak for you?" he addressed Alistair before turning his attention back to me. "Maybe someone should show you your place!"_

_Alistair instinctively stepped in front of me to shield me from them. Cute. Also annoying. People never seem to understand that I can protect myself. The group leader nodded to his men and they drew their weapons. Alistair and I reluctantly drew ours as well. The first two thugs came at us and Alistair met them head on. A third attacked me while the leader hung back and watched. _

_Alistair dispatched one of his attackers and I took mine down shortly afterward. The leader then came after me while Alistair fought the last man._

_The first of my opponents had been fairly easy to incapacitate. The second man however, was much more skilled with a blade. He was much larger as well and his strength was quickly overwhelming me, I'll admit it. I dodged a blow from his sword only to be tripped when he kicked me in the leg. He raised his sword and was preparing to run me through when Alistair finally finished with his second opponent. He charged at the man standing over me and hit him with his shield, literally sending him flying into the wall of a building where he was knocked unconscious. _

_"Charis! Are you alright?" Alistair asked as he helped me to my feet. Just a minute ago I was upset that he wanted to protect me. Now I felt like kissing him for it._

_"Yes, Ali. Thank you though. I was severely outmatched."_

_"I was so worried when I saw him standing over you! I was afraid..." Alistair trailed off as he checked me for wounds. He placed his hands on either side of my face so he could tilt my head. Without warning, his lips came crashing down on mine with such force that I thought they might bruise. As he pulled away his face turned a brilliant shade of red. It was the most adorable thing I had ever seen. _

_"I'm sorry, I... I just," he looked terrified and hopeful at the same time. "Was that too soon?"_

_It took me a moment to regain the ability to speak. I never thought I would _like _it so much when he kissed me. Oh, the kiss itself was terrible; I'm told that most first kisses are. But the feeling behind it was amazing. "N-no... Alistair... that was..." I began blushing as well. "That was everything I'd dreamt it would be." I resheathed my weapons and took his hand in mine. "As much as I would like to do that again," I gestured to unconscious men lying at our feet, "we really should get moving."_

_"Right," he nodded and we ran the rest of the way back to the palace. We didn't stop until we reached the sitting area of his rooms, where we practically collapsed on the floor from the adrenaline rush. _

That was three years ago. Our wedding had been held the year after that. My parents had been ecstatic, and extremely surprised for some odd reason, that the arrangement had developed into a loving relationship.

Any time we got into trouble or fights since then we were always together; always there to protect each other. Well... us and was the Mabari hound Alistair had given me as a wedding gift. But that was why it was so difficult to watch him ride off by himself. If I'm not there to watch over him, who else will? Cailan? Ha! He will be too busy trying to glorify his own name with what are likely to be mediocre acts of bravery. He is half the warrior that Alistair is. Maker! I... I can't think about this anymore.

Guess I'd better get back inside before someone decides to lecture me again.

It took me a little longer than usual to wander back to our bedroom. I don't know how I'm going to survive in that room without him. Deep breath. Come on, Charis. You're supposed to be strong, remember?

Jack was lying in front of the fireplace and acknowledged my entrance with a whine. Mabaris are very intelligent, and he most definitely understood what had happened. He was just as upset with Alistair's departure as I was, if not more so. We had had to leave him inside just so he wouldn't ruin our goodbye with his incessant howling. I sat down on the floor next to him and scratched his ears.

"Oh, Jack. I guess if you're allowed to pout, so am I," I laid down beside him and eventually fell into a restless slumber.

A few hours later, someone rudely interrupted me by knocking on the door.

"Ugh... Just a minute!" I attempted a stretch, no use, and half-stumbled towards the door. I opened it to find Anora, dressed for bed and looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Good evening, Charis, I - Maker's breath, are you alright?" Anora became alarmed at my appearance. It didn't help that I was so stiff I could barely stand.

"Yes, Anora. The floor just isn't quite as comfortable as it looks. Please, come in," I opened the door fully for my sister-in-law.

"Thank you, dear. I just thought... you might like some company?"

Maybe she misses Cailan more than I thought. "That would be lovely, Anora. Make yourself comfortable while I change," I motioned to the sitting area while moving behind the changing screen. I put on a pair of Alistair's trousers and one of his shirts. Then I thought about it and threw a robe over top. Anora had taken a seat on the sofa so I sat in the chair.

"How are you holding up, Charis?" Anora asked.

"I'm well; it was just difficult saying goodbye today. We haven't been apart like this in so long... it's hard."

"I understand. I can see how close the two of you are. Sometimes I wish Cailan and I had that..."

Really Anora? You could have fooled me. "How are things between the two of you?" I had been curious of this for a long time.

"There... isn't much... of anything I'm afraid. We are friends... as much as we can be. But we will never be more than that. And I am fearful that without an heir, he will soon give in to the demands to annul our marriage. Though it is_ his_ fault we haven't had a child! I cannot get pregnant if he will not come to my bed!" Anora was becoming increasingly more agitated. It was a little sad. "I am sorry, Charis. I do not mean to overwhelm you with this..."

"Its okay, Anora. I'm... here if you need to talk." About anything other than politics. And fashion. Ugh... scary.

"Thank you. You know, I have come to think of you as a younger sister these past few years. It is nice to have a true friend."

"I know what you mean, Anora. And I'm sorry to hear about you and Cailan. Maybe the two of you can work on changing things when he comes back?" While Alistair and I are locked in this room doing things you've apparently only ever dreamed of.

Sorry. That one was kind of mean.

"Always the optimist, Charis. I think we are beyond that. I don't know how I will adjust. To go from Queen to nothing... I cannot do it."

"Anora, you will never be _nothing_. Even if you are not queen you are still the heir to a Teyrnir!" Why must everyone wallow in self-pity? There are people much worse off than you, _your majesty_.

"You are right, dear. Thank you. I think I will say goodnight now."

"Alright, Anora. Anytime." I guess.

She left. Finally I could climb in bed and... wallow in my own self-pity. Great.

I left the robe on the chair and lay down on Alistair's side of the bed. Wearing his clothes. Using his pillow. His scent is so strong it's like he's still here.

"Come back to me, Alistair." Or I will hurt you.


	2. Chapter 2 Letters from Ostagar

_Sorry this took so long to post. I now have a full-time engineering job and another job on the weekends. And my husband bought me Kinect so what little free time I have has been spent on that. It's awesome! _

_Thank you to missawesome1213, Jinx1983, and Eva Galana for the reviews and adds, and Mkady, RubyPele, Warrose, mackillian, stardust794, kalliecrazie, and Auranara for the fav/alert adds._

_More feedback would be appreciated!_

_Thanks for reading!_

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_Charis, My love,_

_It's amazing how many soldiers are actually here. Cailan said we would be able to defeat this Blight before it got started. Apparently he was right._

_In addition to the soldiers, I've also come across a great number of Grey Wardens. You know what that means._

_I'm supposed to be preparing for war and all I can think about is looking for _her_._

_If I could just talk to some of the wardens... Maybe someone out there knew her. _

_Or had known her. _

_There's no way of knowing if she is even still alive. I wish Father would have told me more about her. But finding out she is dead would be worse than knowing nothing. _

_I talked to Fergus today. He told me to send you his love before he left with a scouting party. Your father apparently fell ill and your mother would not let him join us. At least you aren't the only one! Though I doubt that makes you any happier. _

_It makes me rest easier knowing that you are safely back in Denerim though. I know you wish you were here, but I don't know what I would do if you were in danger. _

_We shouldn't be here much longer. I hope. According to the scouts, the Horde is preparing for what will likely be one last assault before their numbers get too small to be effective. Then I will be home as fast as my horse will carry me so I can be with you. I promise you, when this is over, I will never leave your side again._

_I love you so much, Charis. Be safe. And pet Jack for me._

_Alistair_

Oh, Ali. I still wish I were there. I'm sorry we are apart. I'm sorry I can't help you find your mother.

Alistair has never met his mother. She handed him off to his father when he was a baby and went on with her life, never looking back. All he knows is that she was a Grey Warden named Fiona. And he has an amulet that belonged to her; nothing else. No fond memories or family portraits or any idea whatsoever of the type of person she was. I'd like to think that my own mother helped fill that void for him, but I know it could never be the same. I've seen the way he looks at me when I'm with my parents. It's heartbreaking.

Maric was never keen on sharing details about Fiona. I think part of it was that it hurt him to talk about her. Most of it was Cailan.

It's no secret that Cailan practically worships the Grey Wardens. Sometimes it seems that he is jealous that he has no blood tie to the group himself. Idiot. Cailan fantasizes a great deal about things that are unimportant. And does more than fantasize if you believe the rumors.

I folded the letter and placed it in my desk with the others. This was the third he had sent, and was likely to be the last based on what he had said.

He's been gone for a month. I'm going crazy. Time to wander aimlessly through Denerim again!

I dressed in my armor and boots. I had spent a great deal of time and money to get armor perfectly suited for me and my personality. I wanted brown leather reinforced with silverite. Apparently Wade doesn't like to make reinforced leather in any color other than dark grey. It took quite a bit to convince him. I just wanted it to match my hair.

Most armor made for women had a low-cut neckline and a skirt for the bottom. I'm sorry, but pretty as it looks, it just isn't practical. Mine looks more like a man's vest in that it wraps around and laces in the front. It also reaches all of the way to my neck. There are separate pieces for my forearms that go from my elbows to just past my thumbs; full gloves are too cumbersome. The bottom half is fashioned like a man's trousers, but the material fits tighter to my body. My boots come up just past my knees. All of the laces are a dark green to match my cloak. And my eyes. It's perfect.

The pieces of silverite are small but spaced very close together. This provides good protection, but also allows for great flexibility. All of the sheaths for my shorter daggers and knives are built directly into the leather so that the only extra equipment I carry is for my two main weapons. Good thing too. When I had an individual sheath for each of them, I was quite a sight. I couldn't show my face outside of the palace for weeks after that last fiasco. Just because I have so many weapons doesn't mean I'm going to use them on just _anybody_. A girl has to feel safe though. And I happen to have the unfortunate habit of brandishing them at inappropriate times.

After dressing I positioned all of my weapons and threw the cloak on top. "Come on, Jack. We're going out." I stopped at the door and gave him a quick scratch between the ears. "That's from Alistair." His head started to droop. "Don't even think about crying right now."

I made my way through the palace until I found Anora taking breakfast and joined her. She didn't even look up when I sat down on the other side of the table.

"_Must_ you go out in public dressed like that?"

"Hah, Anora, you act as if I go out in public dressed any other way!"

She nodded. "True. I do wish you would present yourself more like a princess though and less like... a mercenary."

"Eh, I like this look better. I'll leave the dresses for you."

She nodded again, but this time she smiled. She likes to pretend she's appalled, but she wouldn't have me any other way. We both know it. Another woman might try to usurp her throne. She knows she's safe with me. For one, Alistair doesn't want that life. Two, I don't want anyone but Alistair.

I finished my breakfast and threw a few pieces of bacon to Jack. The servants always give it to me even though they know I don't like it. Jack eats pretty well around here.

I dismissed the guards that tried to follow me into the city. They're really more of a bother than any kind of assistance anyway. Especially when I go to the Alienage, which was where I planned to end up today. I checked my weapons again and headed out.

It's fourteen in case you were wondering. The number of blades I carry. Eleven are fairly to completely obvious where they are located, but the other three would take you a while to find. Ali makes me remove ALL of them before coming to bed, lest he get stabbed again when trying to undress me.

I decided to skip the market for now and just head straight to the Alienage. It had been a few days and I was wondering if any more people had left. Many had gone to Ostagar to try to find work with the army. I was convincing them to go to Highever. Apparently they had been told some pretty awful tales about life there. I made sure they learned the truth before they left.

Jack and I walked through the gate and made our way toward the home of my good friend, Darrian Tabris. He and his cousins Soris and Shianni were the only elves that weren't suspicious of Ali and I when we first started coming around. Plus, we are all about the same age so we have always gotten along fairly well.

I knocked on his door and could immediately tell something was wrong by the look on his face when he answered. He didn't say anything, just turned around and walked back into the house, leaving me standing in the doorway.

He normally isn't this rude.

"Alright, what's the problem?" That's all I do; solve everyone else's problems. I walked in and took a seat in the dining room where he was standing with Shianni.

"Darrian here is upset about the double wedding that is being arranged for him and Soris," Shianni, who was on her way out, answered for him. He was too busy sulking. "See if you can talk some sense into him," she called out before she left the house.

"Aaaaw! Daaaarrrrrian's geeetttttting maaaarrrrried!" I jumped up and did a happy dance. I'm an ass.

"Please, Charis! Can you just stop? This isn't anything to celebrate!"

"Fine, fine. Maker, what crawled up your arse?"

His mouth started working like he had something important to say, but nothing came out. Instead his eyes stopped focusing on me and he began laughing hysterically.

"What is so funny? That I said 'arse'? You like it in your..."

I had mumbled that last part, but he stopped laughing and just stared at the ground.

"What? Oh. Oooooh. I see. Your problem with this marriage thing is that it's..." how can I put this delicately, "to a woman?"

"Yes," he sighed.

He sure is talkative today. "Darrian, I had no idea you were... So why don't you tell your father that?" _Duh!_

"He won't care! Its tradition that he goes and picks out a woman for me and I do my duty to my family by giving him grandchildren. There's no consideration for what _I_ want!"

This sounds familiar. "I completely understand, Darrian. I was in the same situation with Alistair, remember? But it all turned out for the best."

"I know that, Charis. You two are perfect together. I could only dream of finding someone to love the way you two love each other. But I'm not even going to get a chance if I have to go through with this!"

"I see your point, Darrian. But I don't know what else to tell you. Believe me, if I could think of any way for you to get out of this, I'd let you know. I'd suggest running but it didn't work out so well for me."

"You actually ran away?"

"Sure did. Fortunately for me, they dragged me back kicking and screaming." And biting. And cursing. The guards were actually pretty impressed.

"Charis, I really do think you are crazy sometimes. No offense..."

"Don't worry about it. I'm honestly not too sure myself sometimes."

He laughed but quickly turned serious again. "I hope you don't think any less of me... Now that you know the truth about me."

Honestly, who do these people think I am? "Why would I? You are my friend, Darrian. If you can handle all of my crazy, I can accept the fact that you have probably ogled my husband."

"Thank you, Charis. You may act tough, but you really are a great person."

"Aw, thanks, Dee." I grabbed him and gave him a hug. "But seriously, he's mine. You can look, but don't ever, _ever_ touch."


	3. Chapter 3 Homecoming

_Thank you to __Zoe Whiteraven and alyssacousland__ for the reviews and adds, missawesome1213, fire at heart, and fifespice for the reviews, and __Millahnna, jessica jean, Harmakhis, Angels Cry Tears of Blood, and Silvergrace for the__ fav/alert adds!_

_I just got a Twitter so if anyone wants to be my friend over there just look for SagaSvanhildr!_

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If the first month had been trying, you should have seen me this last week. Even Darrian is avoiding me, but he has his own issues to deal with. Jack is the only one that can stand to be around me, but that's because he feels the same way. Another two weeks had gone by and everyone began to expect the men would be coming home. I don't want to think about what a delay like this could mean. Either what was to be the last battle didn't go as well as they'd hoped and they needed to attack again... or worse.

And no one seems to know _anything_. No messengers from Ostagar have come to us at all in the last three weeks. Or to anyone else in Denerim. I've literally asked everyone I've met.

I'm really getting tired of reaching for him in the morning, only to find the bed cold and empty. Just like I feel.

Anora... I don't know how she does it. For everything she said to me that first night, she sure hasn't shown much emotion concerning the absence of her husband since. It almost seems as if she could care less whether he comes home or not. I don't know how many times I have asked her to send someone out for information and she has turned me down.

But then, with him away, there is no need for her to pretend _he _is actually in control. Maybe she doesn't careif he returns.

Other than running and practicing my archery, two things I do_ alone_, and very frequently I might add, I spend a lot of time just sitting in our room with Jack. That's where I am now. Staring out the window onto the town that is still going strong, even with so many of its people gone.

The merchants are still going about their business and people are still buying. The chantry has a steady stream of visitors. So does the tavern. How is it that I am the only one that can't seem to deal with this?

What's this? Two men on horseback just entered the city gates riding quickly for the chantry. This caught my attention because the chantry was to ring its bells to signal the return of the men. I didn't even wait for the bells, I just ran for the door. Jack noticed the change in my mood and was right behind me.

I ran as fast as I could to the castle entrance. The bells had started ringing and Anora and the guards were already there on the front steps awaiting the men as they approached. I could hear the procession finally getting close, but there wasn't nearly the excitement there should be. It sounded like there were a few cheers from those gathered to watch, but there was no music, no laughter, or anything else that would signify a great victory over the darkspawn.

I had had no doubts about Alistair's return until this very moment. I'd never felt anything as terrifying as this... waiting. A huge weight settled itself on my chest and it continued to grow with each second as the lead group of soldiers slowly came into view. They were followed by the noblemen and officers on horseback.

Something was definitely wrong. Alistair would not have put up with this painstakingly slow pace. He would have broken from the line and rushed to me, even if they told him not to. Even if they had lost.

Banns... Arls... Knights... They all looked somber and defeated as they approached us. Their heads bowed, not one would make eye contact with me or Anora. Finally, Cat briefly caught my eye, but she quickly looked away, her face betraying her anguish.

All of a sudden I was floating. I was standing on the steps with Anora just a second ago, but then I was down next to the men on horses and I don't know how I got there. It took everything I had just to keep breathing.

Then I stumbled and dropped down to my knees. The shock of suddenly being on the ground helped to snap me out of my stupor somewhat. Two guards rushed to my side and started trying to help me up. As I attempted to stand, I looked up at the men again.

And my heart stopped.

Loghain had come around the corner. He was flanked by two horses. _Empty _horses. The very same horses Alistair and Cailan had rode off on.

The crowd fell completely silent and I could faintly hear Anora's whispered prayer of, "Maker!" before the silence was filled once again with the most pained screams I had ever heard. It wasn't until the guards reacted and physically picked me up off of the ground that I realized I was the one screaming. Jack's howls joined my own and I lost it.

Any restraint I had over my emotions was gone then. I knew the guards were only trying to help, but rational Charis wasn't in charge anymore.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed and started swinging. The pain was so intense I couldn't control myself, and one of the guards took a hard blow to the face for his efforts. The other guard was finally able to wrap his arms around me, pinning mine to my body. I started shaking violently as the screams faded to sobs and I stopped fighting, allowing the guard to pick me up and carry me into the castle behind a much more subdued Anora, Jack sulking along behind us.

"Take her to her rooms," Anora ordered the guard carrying me.

Oh no you don't. I stopped crying in a hurry. "You put me down! I will not go to my room like a child! I need to hear what happened! Now! You get your father in here now!"

He looked to Anora, who nodded her consent. Once my feet touched the ground I regained some of my composure. "Where is he?" I demanded as I stormed back toward the entrance.

Loghain, Howe, and Cat entered the palace then. Loghain saw me coming and immediately veered off toward his study, simply waving for us to follow. He was taking his seat as I walked through the door, Anora right behind me. Howe and Cat positioned themselves on either side of his desk and Jack stood directly next to me.

"What in the sodding Black City happened, Loghain? Where are they?" I demanded, standing directly in front of him.

"Calm down, I will explain everything," he motioned for us to sit down, which I did very reluctantly. I could look more imposing if I stood.

"It was terrible. We were so confident about the final battle. Cailan insisted that he and Alistair needed to join the Grey Wardens in the first wave to meet the darkspawn. Two of the Wardens were chosen to scale the Tower of Ishal and light a beacon to inform us when to flank the darkspawn. That signal never came. By the time I realized it wasn't going to come, it was too late. We entered the battle only to find that the fight was already over. They were already dead." He hung his head as if he was upset, but his face seemed particularly steady. A little odd for someone who's daughter just lost her husband.

"So that's it? Was there a reason the Wardens didn't light the beacon?" There had to be more to this story. Anora was silent.

"It looked as if the darkspawn breached the tower; there were many bodies. But the Wardens themselves were gone. It looks like they deserted rather than completing the most important task of the battle. I have people looking for them as we speak."

"I see," Something about this just didn't seem right, but I didn't know what else to say. Anora was still silent. Then it hit me.

"If you saw that the battle was over, that they were dead, did you not think it important to bring the bodies of your monarchs back to Denerim for their people to hold a proper funeral?"

"Oh, well...we weren't actually close enough to recover their bodies. We pulled out before we took any more casualties."

I practically leapt from my chair. "So they could have been alive and you didn't even bother to get close enough to check?" I was fuming now.

He stood as well. "They were dead! I know it! Don't you dare accuse me of anything otherwise!"

Awful defensive there, Loghain. I tried to lock eyes with Cat to see if I could get anything from her, but she wouldn't look anywhere but the ground. "First of all, I didn't accuse you of anything. And second," Anora was _still _silent, "aren't you going to say _anything_?"

"I have nothing to say, Charis. If this is what my father says happened, I believe him." Funny you can't look at me when you say that.

"Well I have a hard time believing any of this when you have already changed your story in the first five minutes!" I flung at Loghain.

"Your husband is dead, Charis! I suggest you watch your tongue or there will be no reason for you to remain with us!" Arl Howe all but spit at me.

"Is that a threat, Howe?" Please be a threat. Just give me a reason and I will _destroy_ you old man. Maker, I hate you. "May I remind you that you are speaking to your Princess! And even _if_ my husband is dead, I am still the daughter of a Teryn, a higher station than yours. I will _personally_ throw you out of this palace onto that ugly, crooked nose of yours!" Jack's growling really helped to emphasize my anger.

"We've told you all we know, Charis," Loghain interrupted our staring contest. "You and Anora can leave us now."

I met his eyes as well; searching his face for any trace he was hiding something. It was he who looked away. "Fine. I'll leave you to recover after your _ordeal_." I turned and started to leave, Anora stood to follow me and Jack, but I stopped. "One more thing though. What about my brother? Fergus was there as well, why did he not come back and tell me this himself?"

"Your brother was sent out before the battle with a scouting party. He did not return. No one knows what became of him," Loghain answered.

I was silent for a moment; comparing this with the things Alistair had said in his letter. "That's the first thing you've said that I actually believe, Loghain."

I continued to the door and let Anora and Jack leave in front of me. I had to get one last shot in before I left. "Inform me when you think up a more _believable_ explanation for my husband's death," was the last thing they heard before I slammed the door.


	4. Chapter 4 Curiosity Killed the

_Thank you to Aya001 for the review and add, fifespice for the review, and YQ, sapphiretoes, Phantasmatis Rubramentum,__ heavenXscent, Lady Niltiak, rrin, and ZuzuPetals99 for the adds. A special thank you to elmjuniper for the review, add, and twitter messages, and alyssacousland for the review and messages about our mutual love for Alistair!_

_And no, for those that are worried, I haven't killed him! I can't say anymore though, don't want to spoil it! _

_I'd also like to give a shout out to everyone in the Alistair Fan Club over on a facebook. I've been a member for a while but have never posted anything. I'm not quite ready to link my real name to my writing haha! None of my friends appreciate my obsession :( I'm glad you all do though!_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

_"What's taking so long, my love?"_

_"Sorry, Ali. You know it's a chore getting out of my armor and weapons." I blew out the candles and climbed into bed with him. I settled into his arms as he pulled the blankets up over the both of us._

_"Yes, no need to tell me. The scars are the only reminder I need."_

_"Well that's what happens when you try to fondle me in public, darling!" I poked him in the chest. "I love you, Alistair," I said before I kissed him goodnight._

_"I love you too, Charis," he said as he pulled me closer. I closed my eyes and relaxed, preparing to fall asleep. After a few minutes I could tell that he had not done the same. Something was bothering him._

_"What's on your mind, Ali?"_

_"I... Well... When do you think we could have a child, Charis?"_

_That woke me up. "Well... I don't really know, I guess. What brought this on?"_

_"A lot of things, I think. We've been married for a while now. And we really have no responsibilities other than ourselves. And Jack of course," who whined before his name was included. "I just think it would be good for us to start our own family."_

_"Oh, Ali, I want nothing more than to give you _multiple _children, but we are hardly more than children ourselves. Yes, we have no responsibilities, but think of everything we do. We wouldn't be able to do anything for the Alienage or the rest of the city if we were caring for a baby. And if we don't help, who will?"_

_"That's true, but -"_

_"And how do you think Cailan and Anora would feel if we had an heir before they did? We should at least let them have theirs first, politics and succession and all of that nonsense."_

_"Yes... I guess you're right," he sighed. I hate doing this to him._

_"Why don't we give it a year? That will give us a chance to accomplish more of our goals. And if your brother doesn't have a child at least on the way by then it will be his own fault."_

_"Really?" his eyes lit up like the sun and I think I literally melted._

_"Yes, my love. Besides... that gives us an entire year to _practice_ making a baby," I said as I pulled him in for a passionate kiss to take his mind off of the topic._

Of course I woke up just as it was getting to the good part. Ugh... dreams. Why must you torment me like this? That wasn't even a dream. Just a not-so-fond memory.

I was so foolish. My argument was sound, but those weren't the real reasons why I didn't want a child.

No, selfish me felt the need to prove that I was more than just a womb.

Please don't misunderstand me. I love Alistair with all of my heart and of course I want to have his children. But I would never be content with being known only as the Prince's wife or the mother of the Theirin children.

Honestly, I just feel like I have too much _fight_ left in me to settle into a role that requires so much nurturing.

And surprise! I get left at home. Away from the fight.

But now... Maybe if I had given him a child when he wanted one, he would not have gone to Ostagar. He could have used my pregnancy or our young child as an excuse to stay out of battle. I'm sure Cailan would not have pressured him then.

Great. Now I'm just as angry as I was when I left Loghain's study yesterday. Obviously that bastard wasn't telling me everything. I need to find out what he is hiding. And fast. Alistair's life may depend upon it.

Call me crazy, _again_, but I don't believe that he is dead. I know it's something of a cliché, but I would have _felt _it. We used to read each other's thoughts so often that it sometimes seemed like we shared a mind. If he was gone, part of me would have died as well.

I got out of bed and dressed quickly. I left Jack sleeping and slipped out of my bedroom, making my way to the area currently occupied by Loghain's personal guard. There was one person who had returned from Ostagar that _would_ give me an honest answer.

Ser Cauthrien.

The captain of his guards was entirely dedicated to the Teryn, but she was also a good, honest woman. And a good friend. If Loghain wasn't telling the truth, Cat wouldn't keep it from me. Her demeanor yesterday was already a hint that there was something going on.

Quietly, I knocked on Cauthrien's door. A few seconds passed before she answered.

"Charis! What are you doing here?" Cauthrien was surprised but opened the door so that I could enter.

"Forgive me for intruding, Cat, but I need to talk to you!" I entered and quietly closed the door behind me.

"Yes... I expected that you would," she said. She seemed extremely nervous. What could have her this worried? Cat's the most calm and collected person I know.

"Then I'm assuming you know _why_ I'm here too," I stood directly in front of her with my arms crossed. I didn't want to have to threaten her, but it couldn't hurt to look like I would. I know she wouldn't fall for it if I were to act tearful and weak, so why bother.

"I'm sorry, Charis, but Loghain has already explained what happened out there. I've nothing else to add." Again, she stared at the floor.

"Look at me, Cat. We both know that's a lie. We've been friends for too long for you to keep this from me," I demanded, stepping closer to her.

Cauthrien stepped away and started to pace in front of her window. "I don't know, Charis... What could I say that would make things any better?"

"Just tell me what really happened. Please," I begged.

She stopped and sighed, then was silent for a moment. "We watched Cailan and his men meet the darkspawn horde. It was all going as planned. But... when Loghain says the signal never came... he's lying. The beacon was lit at just the right time. He _ordered _us to retreat. The King and the Grey Wardens were still fighting and Loghain made us abandon them!" she became emotional at this, but who could blame her? I hadn't even expected this out of Loghain and I _didn't hero_-worship the man.

"He says it was to spare as many men as possible, that they were doomed to lose, but I'm... not entirely sure he made the right call," she admitted.

"So you left before the battle was even finished?" She nodded. "That means Loghain has no way of actually knowing what truly happened to Alistair and Cailan?"

"Believe me, Charis; everyone that went out on that field is dead! There was no escape. But no, if that's what you want to hear, we didn't see it for ourselves," she admitted.

"I cannot believe Loghain would do this! Is it true then that the Grey Wardens were gone from the tower? Or did he arrange that to cover his own treachery?"

"I personally spoke to the men that were stationed at the entrance to the Tower. Three Wardens and a mage went inside, but they never came back out. The mage's body was found but none of the Wardens' bodies were."

"That's a bit strange." My mind was working frantically to put all of this information together into something meaningful. What could have happened to those Wardens? Short of a giant bird swooping down and flying off with them, it seems that there was no way for them to get out of there alive.

"So Loghain is looking for them because he is worried that they might be alive?"

"I should think so!" she scoffed. "If I were to raise a fuss about what happened, it would be my word against his, and I would end up hanged for treason. Wardens have become very respected in Ferelden. And they have allies all over Thedas. If they were to accuse Loghain, others would take notice."

"That's true, Cat." She's right. We can't say anything without proof. I rubbed my forehead and down around my eyes. If only this were the dream.

"Truthfully, I don't think Loghain has been himself for some time. It's frightening, but I can't help but wonder if maybe he'd been planning this."

"What do you mean? To lose the battle?"

"No. To get rid of Cailan and Alistair. Then Anora would be the only one left to rule and we've all seen how he can manipulate her." The implications of what Cauthrien just said were staggering. The fact that this was coming directly from her made it even worse. If this had truly been Loghain's intention, we were still in store for whatever else he had planned.

"Charis, you need to get out of the palace!" Cat grabbed me and pulled my thoughts back to her. "You heard what Howe said yesterday, and if anyone is in on this with Loghain it would be him. There is no need for them to keep you around; especially when you question their actions so. I fear that if you do not disappear, they will _make_ you!"

I could tell by her face that she was serious. She really was afraid. This was something that we _never_ saw from _Ser_ Cauthrien. I guess I really am in trouble.

"I think you are right, Cat. I will not spend another night in this place."


	5. Chapter 5 Fight or Flight

_Thank you to__ BubblesScream-jahm4 and ArodLoverus2001 for the reviews and add, __Silvergrace, Aya001, __and __fifespice__ for the reviews, and__ mackillian, neadie, KimikoAmaya__, Zeeji,__ wildcat717, jrfan81, and nuuial for the adds! Thanks again to my new friend alyssacousland for the review and the chatting! And thanks to Jinx1983 for including my stories in her community with so many other awesome stories!_

_And a special thank you to my husband! He bought me the Grey Warden replica sword for Valentine's Day/my birthday! I can't wait until it gets here!_

_Sorry this update is late! I'm so busy it isn't funny!_

* * *

I immediately headed back to my bedroom. I needed to gather everything I could take with me that wouldn't look suspicious. And people teased me for wearing my armor and weapons every where I went. Ha! Who's laughing now?

No one, actually, I guess. This is the most serious situation I've ever been in.

When I got there, the first thing I did was gather all of the money Alistair and I had. I put it in a purse and tied it to my belt in the back where it would be hidden. I threw on my cloak and placed all of the health potions that I had in the pouch that was sewn into the inside. I couldn't take a pack; that _would_ be suspicious. This would have to do. I also took the only other piece of jewelry I owned; a simple chain. Once I got out of town I would have to remove my wedding and signet rings so I didn't attract any unwanted attention from bandits. The chain was long enough that I could hide the rings down inside my armor.

Damn! This armor made me as recognizable as the signet ring. But… I love this armor! I guess I'm going to have to buy a new set to wear and a pack to carry this one in. I will _not_ sell it!

That means I'm going to have to wear a skirt though. Great.

I took a long look around the room that Alistair and I had shared these past few years. This had been our home. And this might be the last time I ever see it.

But then again, if I didn't find Ali, there would be no reason for me to return.

Jack woke up when I had put on my cloak. He was ready to go before I was.

I headed downstairs and decided to stop by the dining room. The servants were likely serving breakfast and I should probably eat something before I run for my life.

Unfortunately, Anora and Loghain were there as well.

"Good morning, sister. Did you sleep well? You are up rather late," Anora greeted me.

"Yes, Anora. Too well it would seem," I tried to act natural in front of them. Difficult to do when the rage I felt at seeing Loghain's face was starting to rise up in the back of my throat. Then again, that might be dinner from last night. The man disgusts me.

"And where are we off to, my dear?" Loghain said, motioning to my cloak.

Sod it! I never thought up an excuse in case someone saw me leave! "I'm headed to the Alienage. I haven't been to see my friends there in a few weeks and I wanted to see if they heard the news. A few of them are actually getting married today as well," I replied. Half true at least. Actually, I probably should stop there on my way out. I wouldn't want Dee to worry about me on top of everything else he has going on.

"That's good. Why stay holed up in the palace? Fresh air would probably be helpful. And it's good to see that you have calmed down since that outburst yesterday."

I'll show you an outburst, you nug-humper! This _act_ that he is putting on is the absolute proof. If he thinks he can lure me into a false sense of security, he is sadly mistaken.

"If you ladies will excuse me, I have an early meeting to attend to," Loghain said as he excused himself from the table and quickly left the room.

"Do enjoy yourself in town, Charis," Anora said she left the table as well.

Great. Now that Loghain has managed to ruin breakfast of all things, I guess I might as well be on with it. I'll just buy something to eat in town. Hopefully I have enough money for all of this.

I grabbed a piece of bread and left. Jack was thoroughly disappointed. He's going to have to get used to that.

I waved the guards away as they tried to accompany me again. Good thing they were accustomed to that. I don't know how I would have gotten away with them trailing me all day.

I entered the Alienage and could already hear Darrian shouting. Apparently he was putting up more opposition to this wedding than I thought he would. Good for him.

As I came within sight of the crowd I saw him yelling at a guard. This doesn't look like much of a celebration.

Shianni turned and saw me and immediately ran to me. I could tell that she had been crying. Rather profusely it seemed.

"Charis! I'm so glad you are here! We need your help!" Shianni grabbed my arm and practically dragged me into the middle of the crowd. The guard was harassing Darrian and Soris, though Darrian was attempting to put himself in between the two.

"I did it! Alone! Soris was not involved and I demand you leave him out of this!"

"You are in no position to be making demands, elf! If I think he was involved he'll end up in Fort Drakon too."

Fort Drakon? What have they gotten themselves into _now_? "What is going on here?" I demanded of the guard. I could see Soris relax a little. Darrian did not.

The guard snapped to attention and saluted me. "My Lady! This elf slaughtered Bann Vaughan and his men in his home. He is to be taken to Fort Drakon to be executed. He claims to have acted alone, but I have a hard time believing one _elf_ could do such things by himself."

What! "Darrian, is this true?" I turned to him. To his credit he didn't look away from the guard's accusing stare or act scared of what was about to happen to him. It was pretty impressive.

Plus, Vaughan was scum. He deserved anything that happened to him.

"Yes, my Lady. It's true," he replied steadily.

"Why? I thought you were supposed to be getting married today, what happened?"

"We were. Soris and I and our brides were to be married, but Vaughan and his men attacked us and kidnapped some of our women. I went after them. And I did not show them mercy."

"You took them down on your own?" I looked to Soris, but he was beyond scared and I wasn't going to get anything out of him.

"Alone, my Lady," he nodded firmly.

I looked him over for a minute. I knew he could fight; his mother had been very accomplished with a blade. But I had never expected him to be so… competent? in the face of danger.

Plus, he was my friend. I couldn't let him die for protecting his people.

Maybe I could do something to help.

I turned back to the guard, "You are dismissed."

"But, my Lady..." he began to protest before I cut him off.

"I will escort this man to the Fort. Your services are no longer needed."

"Are you sure? What if he tries to escape?"

"Then surely you would agree that I am more than capable of defending myself, correct?"

"Yes, my Lady, but..."

"That is more than enough. You may leave us."

The guard hung his head and reluctantly turned and left the Alienage.

"Thank you, Charis. I just didn't want Soris to be punished as well. He still has a chance to be happy here. If you will allow me to say goodbye, I will be ready to leave shortly," Darrian thanked me.

I simply nodded my assent and watched as he hugged his family goodbye. I felt bad taking him away from them, but there was nothing else that could be done. At least this was better than being dragged off by the guard.

When he was ready, we left the alienage as well. We walked in silence through Denerim for a while before he started in. "Um, Charis? We are headed… _away_ from the Fort."

Real perceptive of you, Dee. "It took you that long to notice?"

"So… there's a reason I presume?"

"Yes." I hate stupid questions.

"And that is…"

"We are leaving Denerim."

"What? Why? Won't you be in trouble when that guard reports that you didn't bring me in?"

"Well they would have to find us first. And I think I have bigger things to worry about than that." I stopped walking and turned to him. "I am leaving, Darrian. It isn't safe for me here anymore, or you. Come with me and we can make things right. Or get some answers. Or something. I don't really know. I just know I need to find Alistair."

"But I thought he was dead?"

"Heard about that, did you?"

"Heard about it? That's all the city has been talking about! I assumed that was why you weren't at my wedding!"

"Well it's a lie! Loghain wants us to believe he and Cailan are dead, but he's not! He's out there and I need to find him and bring him home and prove Loghain is a traitor!"

He just stared at me for a minute. I guess to see if I was being serious. "I see. So you're _sure _about this?"

"Oh come on, Dee. When am I _not_?"

He chuckled, probably remembering some of my other headstrong notions. "Even if I didn't owe you my life, Charis, I would still go with you. I do wish my family didn't think I was headed to my death though."

"Who's to say you aren't?" I laughed and began walking again.

"I'm sorry about Alistair, by the way. If he is..."

"He's not."

"I'm just trying to-"

"He's not! Don't even _think_ it any more."

I started walking again and Dee followed. We hadn't gone far when something caught my attention.

"Charis..." Darrian began.

"Yeah, I noticed," I whispered. We had both picked up on the fact that there were at least four people following us. At that moment Jack began growling as well.

"Keep walking. I never thought to ask; do you have a weapon?" Elves were not normally permitted to carry them.

"Fortunately, I didn't have much time to shed them before that guard showed up. I have two daggers."

"Good. I think you're about to need them. Go to your right. I'll go left. Jack, you know what to do."

We turned around as those that were following us slipped out of the shadows. The first one came at me without so much as a lock pick and didn't put up much of a fight as I punched him directly in the face. He fell to the ground unconscious. It's like he wasn't even trying!

I moved onto the next one, pulling my sword and dagger this time. He swept at my head with his two daggers, but I ducked and sliced towards his stomach with my sword. He missed. I cut straight through him.

Sorry, mine's bigger.

A third tried a different tactic. He grabbed my arms and tried to wrestle my weapons away. He managed to loosen my grip and I dropped my sword. While he focused on my dagger, I pulled another one with my now free hand. I attempted to stab him, but he caught my wrist again. He pried one of the daggers loose and turned to the other, as I pulled yet another knife.

I think it was starting to make him mad.

"Why do you have so many blades!" he yelled in a strong accent. Antivan maybe?

I decided to surprise him. He had been trying to pry the hilts of the knives out of my hands, so I let go of them. And as fast as I could, I pulled another knife and slit his throat.

"That's why," I answered as he dropped to the ground in a pool of his own blood.

"And you still had so many more! You could have toyed with him a _little_ longer!" Dee apparently found this whole thing amusing. He laughed as he wiped the blood off of his blades onto it's owner's body. It was punctuated by the sound of Jack snapping the neck of the man he had been fighting.

"I didn't feel like pushing my luck," I rolled my eyes. I suddenly felt… sad. "You know that's the first time I've ever actually killed someone?" I told Darrian.

He got serious too. "Not me…"

"I'm sorry, Dee. But you did what you had to; just like we did here. Don't ever regret it." He just nodded. I started picking up my weapons and checking the bodies for anything useful.

Four dead assassins. And one that I knocked unconscious.

Let's wake him up and see what he says!

I whistled and waved Darrian over. Both of us kept our weapons handy. I gently kicked the elf in the ribs. As gently as you _can _kick someone anyway. He slowly came to and sat up, instantly holding his hands up in defeat.

"Ugh, still living I see. Are you going to interrogate me now?" The way he looked at Darrian and I made him instantly creepy.

"I… guess," I really didn't know _what_ I planned to do with him. "Who are you and why did you attack us?"

"You may call me Zevran, Zev to my friends. I'm an Antivan Crow and I was hired to kill you."

I thought I recognized the accent. "Okay… and who hired you?" At least he didn't mess around.

"His name was Loghain. He was very insistent that you should not get out of Denerim alive."

"What a surprise! That bastard. I can't _wait_ to kill him when this is over. What are we going to do with him?" I asked Dee as I jerked a thumb at the assassin. He started to answer but Zevran interrupted.

"May I make a suggestion?" Dee shrugged so I nodded.

"I have no loyalty for this Loghain. I am not even loyal to the Crows; they purchased me as a slave when I was a child. If I return, they kill me for my failure. I _could…_ go with you. I will assist you with your quest in thanks for sparing my life and you may release me when you are _satisfied_."

Uh, just the way he spoke made me feel dirty. It was a decent proposal though. Except for that last… gross part.

"What do you think, Dee?"

"Don't look at me, Charis. I learned long ago not to question your judgment. If you want to bring him along, I'm fine with it."

"Ok then. I guess you're coming with us." I reached down and offered him a hand. "Now, help me move these bodies somewhere that isn't so obvious. Dee, take the armor off of one of them. It will probably be useful. And it's free."

He sighed and started to remove the armor from one that was similar in size. "This is not how I imagined my first time undressing a man."

Zevran began laughing at this. "I think I'm going to like you."

I had to fight to suppress a shiver.


	6. Chapter 6 My Arse

_So happy for the great response to the last chapter! Thanks to my wonderful reviewers: Aya001, alyssacousland, Zoe Whiteraven, BubblesScream-jahm4, fifespice, and ArodLoverus2001, and to everyone that added me to alerts: Lady Niltiak, milulu, toph16, J.J. O'Robert, I-dont-like-pen-names, Kira76, karu0792, oranjitenshi, YanhCouslandTheirin, megglesnake, and ThisIsAnUnimaginativePenName. _

_The next chapter is going to start getting into the Blight! Be prepared!_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

"Come on, Charis! I'm sure it's fine!'

My arse it is! I don't know how I'm going to live like this. "I just can't do it, Dee."

"You have to! We shouldn't even _be _in the city anymore. Unless you want to get us all killed, you are going to have to make this _one_ sacrifice. No one will think any less of you!"

"Not at all," Zevran practically purred.

I walked out from behind the crates I had been using as cover to change into the set of armor I purchased. "It's awful! It's even shorter than I imagined!"

"It's just a skirt! It's not the end of the world. Lots of women wear them!" Dee was trying to placate me. He should have realized by now that that never works out for him.

"Oh really? And how many other women do you know like me?" I demanded. He threw his arms up, exasperated. I know he's right, but I'm not going down without a fight.

"Nonsense! It looks superb. I would be even happier to lay down my life for you now, Princess. Directly at your feet, of course," Zevran smirked as he gave me another one of _those_ looks.

"You see?" I flung my hand out to point at Zevran. "That! That is why I can't wear a skirt! How long do you think it's going to take him to tire of that?" I emphasized my point with more… pointing.

"Hm… let's see," Dee held up his hands like he was comparing the weights of two things. "Zevran's innuendo or execution… You're right, Charis, you'd better put your pants back on."

It was my turn to throw my arms up, exasperated. I looked to Jack for his opinion. He whined and cocked his head to the side, clearly confused by this dramatic turn of events.

"Fine! Let's just get going!" I shoved my precious leather armor into the pack that I had purchased as well before turning back to Zevran. "But let's get some things straight first. One, I'm a married woman, Zevran. You have about a nug's chance in the Deep Roads of getting _anywhere_ with me. Two, do _not _call me Princess. It sounds like something my father would call me. But he knows me better than to ever try that." Ew, now all I can think about when I picture my father is Zevran's suggestive comments.

"Never mind. That's wrong on way too many levels." I gave up again. He didn't seem fazed by either of my comments anyway.

We picked up the rest of our new gear and set off from the alley I had just changed my clothes in. Funny that _this_ might be my last memory of Denerim.

The new armor was doing the trick though. People surely didn't recognize me, for they weren't going out of their way to avoid me like they usually did. We actually blended in pretty well. I'm just going to pretend I didn't notice that people thought Dee and Zevran were my servants. Narrow minded fools... But we got to the gate and through it with no problems. That's the important part, right?

Wrong. The important part is figuring out where we go from here.

I'm torn between two places. Even though I know which one it should be, part of me is already terrified and just wants help. I'm pretty sure I'm just going to walk west and a little bit south and hope my new followers don't ask any questions. At least that would give me some more time to think.

* * *

And so we walked. And walked. And walked some more. We couldn't take the roads so it was pretty slow going. Finally, it started to get dark and I figured we should make camp for the night. Zevran and I started picking up firewood so that we would have enough by the time we found a clearing, and Darrian went out with Jack searching for some meat for dinner. We had a good fire going by the time Jack lead Dee into the camp with 3 rabbits.

Dee and Zevran even did the cooking. Mainly, Dee wanted to keep an eye on him; make sure he didn't poison us or anything. So I sat staring at the fire, finally making up my mind about our journey.

It wasn't until we were halfway through our meal that Darrian finally asked. "So, Charis, Highever?"

"What about it?" I felt sick playing dumb. Don't ask, Dee. You aren't going to like it.

"I assume we are heading there?"

"Actually... no. If I were Loghain, that's the first place I would expect me to go also... if that makes any sense. My parents don't need to be dragged into this just yet. Father will want to storm into Denerim and call for Loghain's death immediately. I have already been reminded that we need proof before we do anything... rash. So I think it's in our best interest to go after the proof before running home to daddy. And hopefully they're safer that way."

"Alright, so where would the proof be?"

Damn him! "Hm... Ostagar..." I coughed and mumbled into my hand.

"What? Ostagar has got to be completely overrun by darkspawn now! I knew you were crazy, Charis, but I didn't think you were stupid!"

I think Dee may have actually grown a pair. "Wow. I didn't expect to hear that from _you_, mister 'I won't question your judgment'. I know it's dangerous, but it's the only hope we have of finding out what really happened. And where Alistair could be."

"I thought this Alistair was dea-," Zevran was cut off by the growl that escaped me. Literally, a growl.

Darrian shook his head at Zevran to silence him. "You're right, Charis, I did say that. But I can't help it if I'm terrified of the thought of you leading us into the center of the Horde!"

"Believe me, Dee, I wouldn't be asking this if I thought there was another way. But where else are we going to find proof of Loghain's treachery if not the place where it occurred?"

He had nothing else to say to that. "Do you have an opinion?" I addressed Zevran.

"Allowed to speak again, am I?" I simply rolled my eyes. "No."

"That's it? No complaining or… trying to make me see reason?"

"I already told you… wherever you go, I go." Well that's a pleasant surprise at least.

"Good. Tomorrow we turn south. Now, if you two are finished, I suggest you get some sleep. I will take the first watch tonight."

The two of them cleaned up the meal and the camp before setting up their tents and retiring for the night. Even Jack was out cold next to me as soon as he lay down. Thank the Maker I have some time to myself.

Unfortunately, there are only a few things to do in a situation like this.

Think.

Doubt.

What am I doing? Is it really the smartest idea to walk into the most dangerous place in Ferelden with two elves and a dog? Tough as they might be, none of us has ever seen a darkspawn before; let alone fought one. I don't want to be the reason they get killed. Even though technically, I'm the reason they're alive… Whatever.

Oh Alistair… how did this happen? You _swore_ you would come back to me! Now I'm running away from Denerim… hiding from my family… sleeping outside. I don't even know how to set up my own tent!

We always shared one… We shared everything. You're my life, Ali. Please, be alright…

I don't even know when I started crying. One moment I was alone and the next thing I knew, Dee was out of his tent and sitting down next to me. He put his arm around my shoulders to comfort me and I couldn't take it anymore. I buried my face in his chest and began sobbing uncontrollably.

I don't know how long we sat like that, but he never said anything; just let me cry like I apparently needed to. Maker, I hate crying…

After what must have been hours, I started to drift off. Dee unpacked my bedroll and laid it out on the ground for me, and after some protesting, I _am_ supposed to be on watch after all, I curled up with Jack and went to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7 Once Bitten

_Thank you to my wonderful reviewers: alyssacousland, __ArodLoverus2001, wildcat717, Aya001, fifespice, and BubblesScream-jahm4! I probably would have given up after the first chapter if it weren't for the encouragement you all give me! Thank you as well to the people who added this to their alerts: __LedinToke, Malinear, WhiteZephyr, Sheity, into0the0mist, and ShenkoFan (Love your name! There is no other ME romance option in my opinion!)! _

_I hope everyone is still enjoying this! _

_Also, for the sake of keeping the story moving, I'm just going to act like it takes about a day to walk to any of the places in Ferelden. If they could march from Redcliffe to Denerim in one day, my characters can too._

* * *

_"To be clear, I'm only here because my parents are forcing me! I don't know you. I don't really _want_to know you. But _duty_says I _have_to. And we Couslands never shy away from our duty." I crossed my arms and stared at the boy in front of me._

_"You think I'm happy about this? I thought that being a _bastard_would at least afford me the option to marry for love..." he sat down on the closest stone bench to where we were in the garden and hung his head. "And then they force _this_ on me..."_

_"Well... My parents used to _tell_me I could. Then your father came along, all 'For Fereldon-y' and I lost that right too."_

"_What?"_

"_What?" Is he stupid?_

_"You talk funny," he stared at me like he was completely serious._

_"You look funny!" I snapped back at him. He stared at me for a moment, and then went from forlorn to laughing uncontrollably in an instant. It was contagious._

_"Oh... I think that's the first time I've laughed since I found out about all of this," he sighed._

_"So they _just_told you?" I approached him and sat on the far end of the bench._

_"Yes. How long have you known?" _

_"About six months."_

_"Wow. And what did you do?"_

_"Ran away."_

_"I thought 'Couslands never shy away from their duty'!" He mocked my higher pitched voice before laughing some more._

_"Yes, well I didn't _shy_, I ran as fast as I could. I just didn't get very far!"_

_"That's crazy! So how old are you?" _

_"I just turned nine," I replied. "And you?"_

_"Ten. At least we're almost the same age. I wouldn't want my betrothed to be a _baby_still."_

_"That's true, I guess. I'll count myself lucky you aren't a gross old man like Rendon Howe!" I gagged and pretended to retch which made him laugh again._

_"What do you do for fun?" I asked him._

_"I spar!" he jumped up and assumed a fighting stance, pretending to hold a sword and shield. "I want to be a great warrior!"_

_"Oh really?" I too stood and pretended to twirl my sword and dagger. "I will be the greatest warrior woman that ever lived!" _

_This turned into a truly epic imaginary sword fight which progressed into us slaying monsters together. We sat back down on the bench to rest afterwards._

_"You know, you really surprised me there," I said to him._

_"Why's that?"_

_"You didn't say something mean like, 'noble women can't be warriors!' like everyone else does."_

_"Well, I guess I never thought about it. But I think you should be what you want," he shrugged. And suddenly, I couldn't bring myself to hate him. _

_That's still a far cry from love though._

_"So... do you think we could be friends? I don't really have that many, to be honest. I kind of keep to myself at the palace..." he trailed off, suddenly embarrassed._

_Friends? I hadn't thought of that. At least as friends there might be some mutual respect in our relationship. That's more than I had assumed I would get._

_"Yes, we can be friends. I don't have many myself, if you can believe that!" I joked._

_"What? Who wouldn't want to play with a girl like you? You are much more fun than all of the other noblemen's' daughters. And prettier," he added that last part as more of an insult to the other girls than a compliment to me, but I still blushed. Then he blushed _hard_. It was pretty adorable, I'll admit it._

_"Come on, let's play again!" I grabbed his arm and dragged him off the bench._

I think the Maker is punishing me with these memories. That one wasn't as bad as the first, but it still makes me feel horrible. I went into our very first meeting with such an attitude. I expected him to be just like all of the other boys. He was so much better though! And the first things I said to him were beyond bitchy, when he was hurting even more than me, it seemed.

I opened my eyes to find myself face down in my bedroll. I simply lay there, refusing to accept the fact that I needed to get up. I turned and looked straight into the open mouth of a snoring Jack. Dee and Zevran were up and tearing down their tents, but both were moving pretty slowly. I'm assuming none of us got much rest.

Except Jack, maybe.

With a groan, I sat up and stretched. Time to get this show on the road.

I picked up my stuff; not much since I never set up my tent, and made a quick breakfast for the four of us. We ate and set off.

We walked south for hours, never seeing anyone else, at least. Whatever time we were saving by not taking the roads though was more than negated by the trees and bushes and _rocks_ and _streams_ and literally _everything_ else the Maker has thrown in my way. I am so ready to kill something!

All of a sudden Zevran stopped walking. I turned to look at him and noticed what he already had. The forest had gone unnaturally quiet. Of course, the first clearing we come to and now we are about to get attacked by something! I need to keep my mouth shut.

The three of us drew our weapons and formed a circle, looking in all directions. Obviously, something was out there. Unfortunately, we couldn't see it.

Then a blur of fur and teeth bounded out of the trees and lunged at Darrian. He started hacking at it as two more of the creatures charged towards me and Zevran. They were fast. And they had ridiculously sharp claws. I had never seen anything like them before, but they were most definitely not darkspawn. This was something else entirely.

It took everything I had just to keep up with the beast as it continued to swipe at me with its claws. Thank the Maker I'm not wearing my leather armor for this! It would have been ripped to shreds.

I chanced a look at my companions to see how they were fairing. Zevran was moving even faster than the creature; sometimes it even seemed he disappeared. _So _glad I brought him along right now. Darrian did not seem to be fairing as well, but Jack was helping him. Though he wasn't biting the thing; only charging it. That's kind of odd.

Mine apparently noticed that I wasn't paying attention and hit me hard enough to knock me down. As it made to leap on me, I rolled to the side and jammed the hilt of my sword into the ground, impaling it near its shoulder.

It howled with pain. _Literally _howled, like some kind of wolf. The other two beasts, one of which was visibly weakened by Zevran, heard the cries and seemed to help it as they fled back into the forest.

What kind of creatures are these that they will actually care for one another?

"Andraste's flaming knickers! What were those things?" I ran around the clearing looking into the trees, trying to see if there were any more of them, or if those three planned on coming back anytime soon.

"I do not know, Princess. I have never seen anything like them before," Zevran said, his serious face slipping back to a grin as I shot him a look for calling me that _again_.

"Um... Charis? Whatever they are, one bit me..." Darrian held up his arm as Zevran and I moved to him to take a look. "And I don't... feel... so good..."


	8. Chapter 8 Carnage

_Thank you so much to wildcat717, Aya001, __alyssacousland, ArodLoverus2001, fifespice, and a HUGE thank you to BubbleScream-jahm4 for giving me my 39th review! Odd milestone, but that's one more than I got on my whole first story and in only seven chapters! I'm honored that the six of you like this enough to review every chapter!_

_Thanks as well to arienrhoda, GeneralMeow, Hikari Kaiya, and Ladywhipple, for adding this to alerts/favorites! It's always nice to see some new readers!_

_Sorry I didn't update last week! I don't even have DA2 as an excuse because I haven't started it yet! I'm so behind! And now I have it __**and**__ the Sims Medieval to play!_

* * *

Zevran's grin disappeared as Darrian suddenly collapsed into his arms. He lowered him to the ground and we both knelt beside him.

"Dee! Hold on, Dee! Oh, come on..." I frantically searched my pack for a health potion. "Got it!" I pulled one out and uncorked it while Zevran tipped his head back. He coughed as I poured it down his throat, but swallowed all of it.

Immediately, the bite wound on his arm began to knit itself shut, but he did not wake. I stared at him in confusion.

"I've never seen a simple health potion heal like that. Have you, Zev?"

"No, I have not. That is most interesting..."

"What is? Do you know what's going on here?"

"I have never seen it personally, but I have heard stories... legends, really. If that is truly what is at work here... what those beasts were... you are not going to like it, I'm afraid." He stood and picked Dee up and put him over his shoulder. Without another word he began walking.

"Where do you think you're going with him?" I was even more confused now than I thought possible.

"To find help," was his answer, as if that told me anything.

"Excuse me, but we are in the middle of a forest! Where do you think you will _find_ help?"

"Ah, but we are in the Brecilian Forest, no?"

"Yes, but what does..." Then it clicked. "The Dalish! But do you really think they will help us?"

"They might not help _you_, but he is an elf. They will not turn him away."

He had a point. They would probably take pity on one of their own. And having Zevran along, whose facial markings made me think he was somehow associated with the Dalish himself, would help as well. But there was another issue. "Um... _How_ are we going to find them?"

"Princess, if you keep talking, we won't need to find them. They will surely hear us coming."

Damn him. I _really _hope he knows what he's talking about.

It wasn't ten minutes later when we saw them. A female and two male elves were standing directly in front of us, blocking our path.

"Stop right there outsider. The Dalish have camped in this spot. I suggest you go elsewhere, and quickly," the female said. The markings on _her_ face made Zevran's look like something done by a child.

"Actually, we've been looking for the Dalish," Zevran said to her.

"I find that hard to believe. What business could we Dalish possibly have with a group like yours?" She was definitely looking at _me_ when she said that.

Zevran lay Darrian's unconscious body down on the ground in front of the trio. "Our friend was attacked by a strange beast and requires your aid. If the beast was indeed what I think, I have a feeling you may require our aid as well."

The female seemed to consider this. She looked at Dee, then Zev, then _me_, before turning and nodding to her companions. They stepped forward and lifted Darrian.

What did you just get us into, Zevran?

"Follow us. Seeing as you are obviously no simple trespassers, I will leave it to the Keeper to decide the importance of your request."

We followed the elves into what appeared to be a half-empty camp. When we came to the Keeper, I realized why it seemed so empty.

There were injured elves laying everywhere. Some of them were in a similar state as Darrian; others were moaning and writhing in pain.

This isn't good at all. If they haven't been able to cure the members of their own clan, obviously there is nothing they can do to help Dee.

"Hm, I see we have guests. Who are these strangers, Mithra? I have precious little patience and less time to spend on outsiders today."

I assume this was the Keeper. He sure sounded excited to see us. Jack obviously felt the same because he started growling at the elf as soon as he saw him. I placed my hand on the back of his head to calm him.

Not that I blamed him. The complete lack of hair combined with markings that seemed to come out of his mouth and an outfit that looked a _little_ too feminine definitely made him a sight.

"They were attacked in the forest. Their friend has fallen ill as well," Mithra explained as the two males placed Darrian with the others.

The Keeper hung his head when he saw this. "Ma serannas, Mithra. You may return to your post."

"Ma nuvenin, Keeper," she responded as she left.

"These beasts will be the death of me," he sighed.

"And _how _exactly did you find yourself being hunted by werewolves?" Zevran asked.

I started laughing at the apparent joke before I looked at their faces. Wait, what?

"Werewolves? You're serious, werewolves are real?" I asked.

"Of course they are. Why does that surprise you, Princess? You live in a world in which death awaits you around every corner. You should be expecting anything."

Hm. "I'll be sure to remember that," I sneered at him. Just another reminder not to trust the _assassin_.

Surprisingly, he looked a little hurt by that comment.

"_Yes_, werewolves," the Keeper interjected. "I am Zathrian, by the way; the Keeper of this clan, its guide and preserver of our ancient lore. And you are?"

"I am Charis Theirin, this is my... associate, Zevran, and _that_," I pointed to Dee's still form, "is my very good friend, Darrian Tabris. If there is anything that you can do for him I would greatly appreciate it."

"Manners? From a shemlen… interesting. But then, you really are a princess, as he said. Are you not?"

"Yes, I am. Well... maybe. Let's just say that it's been an interesting week. But even if I were not, I would still treat elves with the respect that they deserve."

"If only everyone felt that way." Zathrian stopped speaking for a moment. The flash of emotion that appeared briefly on his face made me think he was recalling a moment where he _wasn't_ shown that respect.

"So. What has befallen our friend and your clan? I assume the werewolves are the reason they are in this condition?" Zevran brought the conversation back to the matter at hand.

"The clan came to the Brecilian Forest one month ago, as is our custom when we enter this part of Ferelden. We are always wary of the dangers in the forest, but we did not expect the werewolves would be lying in wait for us. They… ambushed us, and though we drove the beasts back, much damage was done. Many of our warriors lie dying as we speak," he turned and knelt beside one elf that was in great pain.

"Even with all of our magic and healing skill, we will eventually be forced to slay our brethren to prevent them from becoming beasts.

"So there's nothing that you can do for them?" My heart sunk. Had I really saved Darrian from a swift death in Denerim just so that he could suffer out here?

"The affliction is a curse that runs rampant in their blood, bringing great agony and then ultimately either death or a transformation into something monstrous. The only thing that could help them must come from the source of the curse itself, and that… that would be no trivial task to retrieve."

"I would do anything to save Darrian's life, Zathrian. Just tell me what I need to do," I pleaded.

"Within the Brecilian Forest dwells a great wolf. We call him Witherfang. It was within him that the curse originated, and through his blood that it has been spread. If he is killed and his heart brought to me, perhaps I could destroy the curse. But this task has proven too dangerous for us."

He motioned for us to follow him to another part of the camp. "I sent some hunters into the forest a week ago, but they have not returned. I cannot risk any more of my clan."

"I see," I looked back and forth from Zevran to Jack. Then I looked at Dee.

"I will find this Witherfang for you. But since there are only the three of us, and a whole _party_ of hunters was unsuccessful, is there _anyone_ that you would be willing to send with us for aid? A mage, possibly?" I needed _some_ reassurance that we wouldn't all be killed as well.

"As much as it pains me to send anymore of my clan out there, I agree. A mage would greatly increase your chances of success. I will send Lanaya, my first, to accompany you. The experience will be useful to her in preparation for her own time as Keeper."

"Thank you. We will not fail." I _can't_ fail. He's my only _real _friend left.

"I must warn you that more than werewolves lurk in the Brecilian Forest. It has a history full of carnage and murder, you see. Where there is so much death, the veil separating the spirit realm from our own becomes thin, allowing spirits to possess things living or dead. Please, protect Lanaya if you encounter any of these beings."

"You have my word. Please take care of Darrian as well."

"Of course. I wish you luck. And I will ask Master Varathorn to put aside some supplies for you as well, the kind that the hunters use. For now, I must return to caring for my people. Creators speed on your way."


End file.
